Battles With Real Life
by thesahara
Summary: This is a series about Yugi and the gang facing off against real life celebrities and/or villians. Pretty stupid, please R&R however!


Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Green Day or the Taliban.  
  
This fic is a series of celebrities that will duel one of our beloved Yu-Gi- Oh cast. Today's match is. Yugi vs. Osama Bin Laden  
  
*we find Yugi and the gang walking down the street in Domino City*  
  
Joey: I can't wait to get to the card shop and buy more cards!  
  
Tristan: Joey, that's really old.  
  
Joey: It's not my fault Tristan. That's what was in the script. Remember the bad dubbing *beep beep* does?  
  
Tea: Why did they block 4KIDS out?  
  
Bakura: It really is a beautiful day out.  
  
Yugi: Bakura, I thought I told you to shut the f*** up!  
  
Bakura: The sun is so bright I can barely see.  
  
Joey: Man, not even Tea is THIS annoying!  
  
Tea: What did you say Joey Wheeler???  
  
*suddenly, Kaiba steps out in front of their path*  
  
Yugi: It's Kaiba!  
  
Bakura: That gets old really fast, Yugi.  
  
*kaiba takes out a 9 MM and blasts Bakura in the head*  
  
Tea: KAIBA HOW COULD YOU???  
  
*kaiba takes out tea with one shot*  
  
Joey, Tristan, and Yugi: *jumping up and down* WAY TO GO KAIBA!!! *giving each other high fives*  
  
Yugi: Kaiba, why are you here and not working on some new technology?  
  
Kaiba: I was just taking a walk.  
  
Joey: *about to talk*  
  
Kaiba: Don't you say anything having my name in it or I'll blow your god damn head off!  
  
Joey: *closes his mouth as tight as he can*  
  
Yugi: It's no use, the editors are making him say it!  
  
Joey: *bursts out* KAIBA YOU SLEEZ!  
  
*kaiba shoots joey*  
  
*a huge paintbrush paints over kaiba's gun*  
  
Tristan: Yugi, lets get out of here before he kills us. What do ya say?  
  
*kaiba smacks Tristan over the head with his briefcase*  
  
Yugi: Er...hello Kaiba.  
  
*kaiba unzips his costume and out comes Osama Bin Laden*  
  
Yugi: OSAMA BIN LADEN???!!!!  
  
Osama: Bwahahahahahaha!  
  
Yugi: Ok, that was kind of lame.  
  
Osama: I challenge you to a duel!  
  
Yugi: I accept, and if I win, then you revive my friends.  
  
Osama: What do I look like? I'm a terrorist, not a healer!  
  
Yugi: You're a terrorist???  
  
*Grandpa comes up from behind and smacks Yugi in the head*  
  
Solomon: Yugi, you don't have a clue do you?  
  
Yugi: No Gramps, I don't.  
  
Solomon: I think Duel Monsters is going to your head.  
  
Yugi: I'll duel you Osama, but you will have to do something for me if I win.  
  
Osama: And if I win, you will join the Taliban.  
  
Yugi: Agreed.  
  
Solomon: That's my grandson.  
  
*osama and yugi go on a virtual simulator*  
  
*green day appears on the field and they start playing Walking Contradiction*  
  
Osama: What is this shit?  
  
Yugi: I'VE HAD ENOUGH!  
  
*transformation, music and all* YUGIOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yami: Osama Bin Laden, you will stop hurting the world if I win this duel. It is a right of every human being to be free.  
  
Osama: Very well.  
  
Both: LETS DUEL!  
  
Solomon: You can do it Yugi! *appears to be bending over and then sneaks away*  
  
Osama: My first move, I summon the Dumb Blind American in defense mode!  
  
*president Bush appears on the field* 100/0  
  
Yami: That's an insult to the United States of America. I summon the Celtic Guardian in attack mode, but I will not attack.  
  
Osama: I lay one card face down, and then throw out the Fat B***h in attack mode.  
  
*Rosie O' Donnell appears on the field* 100/2000  
  
Osama: And then this, the Shield and Sword card! Flipping the defense and attack strengths of all monsters!  
  
*all cards flip stats*  
  
Osama: Fat B***h, attack Celtic Guardian! Smothering ass attack!  
  
*Fat B***h sits on Celtic Guardian*  
  
*Yugi drops to 1200 LP*  
  
*Green Day switches to playing Minority*  
  
Yami: This guy is in way over his head. Now the Fat B***h is at her normal 100 attack power.  
  
Osama: Do you surrender to me?  
  
Yami: You must be joking! I summon the Dark Magician! DARK MAGIC ATTACK!  
  
*dark magician kills Fat B***h*  
  
*Osama's LP drop to 0*  
  
Osama: I am the Taliban, I never lose!  
  
Yami: I'm afraid you have however. Now you will stop insulting people, killing people, and ordering people around.  
  
Osama: Never!  
  
Yami: Hmmm?  
  
*Osama jumps into a large Magnet Valkyron* 3500/3850  
  
Osama: You die now!  
  
Yami: I think you misunderstand. At any rate, where's Yugi's grandfather? He seemed to have left.  
  
Solomon: Great job Yugi.  
  
Yami: What the hell?  
  
Solomon: Don't give up!  
  
Solomon: I believe in you!  
  
Solomon: Think about the heart of the cards!  
  
Yami: *walks over behind the simulator where Grandpa was standing*  
  
*there is a tape recorder on the ground*  
  
Yami: That fool.  
  
*Osama takes off in his robot*  
  
Joey: Aw nuts, he's getting away!  
  
Tea: Yami do something!  
  
Yami: Don't worry.  
  
*we see Osama still flying the robot*  
  
Osama: Bwahahahahahaha!  
  
Taliban official: Did you recruit Yugi Motou?  
  
Osama: Who's Yugi Motou?  
  
*the Taliban official blasts Osama Bin Laden's head off*  
  
That's it for now. Pretty stupid huh? If I get a lot of reviews, I will write another one. AND PLEASE R & R MY OTHER FANFIC: THE INVASION. I REALLY NEED REVIEWS FOR THAT ONE, OR ELSE THERE WILL BE NO MORE CHAPTERS! 


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